Oh, Little Man of Mine

I think I've been a little better about the emotional sappiness that made me ready to cry at the drop of a hat before I left for China. I think my focus has been so much on the moment-to-moment attention to his needs that I still haven't taken time to step back and reflect much. But tonight...tonight this little man moved me to tears and I can't stop. There was something different about bedtime snuggles tonight and I was just overwhelmed by knowing that just three weeks into our time together, I'm where he feels safe. We had some sad crying again after nap today, but he clung to me and fell back asleep in my arms. Tonight wasn't just laying next to me, not just touching his feet or a hand against me. Tonight was burrowing in to snuggle like he's been here his whole life...or trying to get as close as he *should* have been held his whole life. He was burrowing in the way you do with someone who feels like home, someone who makes you feel warm and safe and loved. He tried to reach his little arm underneath me to get even closer and my heart broke and melted at the same time. We have quite the road ahead of us and oh how I wish I could rewrite his story to protect him from such losses. This funny, smart, sweet little man in his striped dinosaur pajamas...he overwhelms me. However did I become so blessed with the honor of being his mama? He inspires me to poetry, and he has my whole heart.